Things Keep Getting Worse

May 7 2022

Quick rant and post on what's been going on around here. It's not that I've completely abandoned my blog it's just that I've been conveniently busy. Not including the stress of the impending doom that will inevitably some as the war progresses. Earlier this week politico had an inside source leak documents of SCOTUS plans to overturn roe.vwade. I guess there is outrage but social media doesn't say much. I hope that people go out to actually make a change and I wonder how much worse conditions need to be for the masses to care. The idea that working class can be bought off with commodities is very real. I watch people obsess over fandoms, niche communties, or card games, just to have something, just to buy and collect something. What can you do about anything right? What is the point but to spend?

And last night I fell down the stairs a good couple of steps and had to stop myself with the railing. Might have fractured a toe and I have burns on my wrists. I guess it could have been worse like the accident but it's fine. People are noticing that I'm looking worse by the day, I get that it's out of concern but please leave me alone. Let me get through this, let me handle it, like I've done this entire time. Then I think about the stories I hear about people that have gone on for 20 years, and I am nearly halfway there. Trying to remember when the lines between habit and addiction blurred is impossible by this point, but I can't imagine going on much longer like this. You hear things about people living like this for decades, and you think that it's crazy, sad, but it won't happen to you. I feel my heart in its cage and I try not to think about my mortality anymore.